Bored Liberals Freak Out, Accuse Kermit the Frog of ‘Fat-Shaming’

ZKermit

If you’re like me, you have been following with hushed anticipation and a quiet unease as you watch the dissolution of America’s favorite power couple: Kermit and Ms. Piggy.

Alright, you got me- I don’t give a damn one bit. I’m more interested in Ecuadorian curling than I am in this.

Some, however, take their Muppets very seriously, however, and liberals with too much time on their hands are livid because Kermit broke-up with the corpulent Ms. Piggy and has *gasp* reportedly begun dating a thinner pig.

This, according to leftist weirdos who still watch the Muppets, is a form of “fat shaming.”

People speculated that Kermit and a new, thinner pig named Denise were dating and that Kermit was porking his way through the pig world (forgive the pun. I couldn’t resist).

Though Muppet officials (if there is such a thing) announced that Kermit was not dating Denise, the liberal crowd had already seized upon the situation and called-out the Muppets for “fat-shaming.”

Because Denise is noticeably thinner than Ms. Piggy, Megan Carpentier, the U.S. opinion editor for The Guardian, wrote a piece titled “Kermit the Frog’s New Girlfriend Is Younger, Thinner — and Blander.”

“Well, apparently Kermit can’t get enough of women like his ex – as long as they’re younger and thinner than her and less successful than him (but still work at ABC, so he can rub her in Miss Piggy’s face).”

Carpentier griped that “Miss Piggy is a beloved feminist icon,” and juxtaposed her “role model status” with that of Denise and claimed that Denise is a representation of the “audience of the 1980s,” one “filled with fear of powerful women” who “understand and supported men’s urge to date their exes’ younger, dumber Plasticine lookalikes.”

Of course, it seems nobody in the office of The Guardian nipped this in the bud by saying, “You know, Megan, maybe you’re taking the Muppets too seriously.”

It wasn’t just Carpentier, however. Folks went nuts on social media and blasted the Muppets for sending the wrong message to girls about body image.

All this would be laughable if it weren’t for the simple fact that in all absolute seriousness, this should be the least of our worries.

We’re $18+ trillion in debt, our economy is pieced-together with Band-Aids, we have a president who feels that the law does not apply to him, we are in danger of receiving another president who feels that she is above the law, ISIS is dominating the Middle East, radical Islam is here in America, illegal immigrants continue to parasitically eat-away at this country, Iran is hurling towards development of a nuclear weapon (with the U.S.’s help), the Second Amendment remains under attack and America now allows the imprisonment of political prisoners.

But no- let’s take this time to focus our critical eye on puppets.

#priorities

About the Author

Greg Campbell
Greg Campbell
An unapologetic patriot and conservative, Greg emerged within the blossoming Tea Party Movement as a political analyst dedicated to educating and advocating for the preservation of our constitutional principles and a free-market solution to problems birthed by economic liberalism. From authoring scathing commentaries to conducting interviews with some of the biggest names in politics today including party leaders, activists and conservative media personalities, Greg has worked to counter the left’s media narratives with truthful discussions of the biggest issues affecting Americans today. Greg’s primary area of focus is Second Amendment issues and the advancement of honest discussion concerning the constitutional right that protects all others. He lives in the Northwest with his wife, Heather, and enjoys writing, marksmanship and the outdoors.
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