College Students ‘Marry’ the Ocean in ‘EcoSexual Sextravaganza’

ZWeirdos

If there is one thing that the left loves more than promoting absurd social agendas, it’s promoting a pathological dedication to the environment.

Now, hippies and other special snowflakes of the left no longer have to choose what pathetically ludicrous agenda they will pursue each day: they’ve combined both.

College students at Santa Monica College in California recently engaged in what they dubbed an “EcoSexual Sextravaganza.” What does that entail, you ask? It’s simple really:

College students, led by a hippy professor, collectively “married” the ocean.

Go ahead and re-read that sentence and let it sink in for a moment. College students who are now largely flocking to Bernie Sanders because he asserts that we should collectively pay for their college are spending their time “marrying” the ocean.

And they say higher education is a waste of time…

Amber Katherine, a philosophy professor, helped organize the May 14th event. She explained that the purpose of the “wedding” was to encourage deeper love for our planet by encouraging “ecocentric passion and even lust.” Students were encouraged to “consummate” the “marriage” by making “love with the water.”

I love the outdoors, but I’m not in love with the outdoors because, well, I’m not a weirdo. I have certainly never lusted after a tree. Although, I have swum in the ocean. I don’t know what kind of whorish tendencies Mother Earth has, but it seems she’s willing to let just anybody engage in her “ecocentric” carnal delights.

Don’t worry, the absurdity if only beginning. Campus Reform reports:

One attendee of the event—who identified herself only as “Serenity”—spoke about the importance of gaining consent from the earth before proceeding with a physical relationship.

“Back when I would hug trees in Santa Cruz, I would sort of ask the tree if it was okay if I hugged it and I would feel their spirit or energy or something give a response back, and then proceed accordingly,” she told The Corsair.

It was at this point that I did a thorough Google search as I became quite certain that someone was screwing with me. Surely nobody could be this nuts, right?

“It was actually our second marriage so it was kind of like renewing my vows for me,” added SMC EcoSexual Club president Diego Marquez.

What’s truly great about this nonsense is that already, Americans are paying for a large chunk of college tuitions via federal grants. The goal of the left, of course, is to devalue college degrees by paying for everybody to attend such wonderful workshops like marry the friggin’ ocean.

I am so baffled by this premise that I don’t know who to blame.

Do I blame the moral relativists who advanced fake “marriage” asserting that “love is love”?

Do I blame the radical environmentalists for pushing a flimsy narrative so hard that people just simply lost their minds?

Do I blame modern academia for serving as an indoctrination center that promotes far-left ideologies while working to restrict any semblance of commonsense conservative logic?

Do I blame parents for teaching their kids that their feelings matter this much and that reality is unimportant when compared to one’s feelings?

Yes- all of the above.

I suddenly see why America’s Democrats are left with a choice between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders…

About the Author

Greg Campbell
Greg Campbell
An unapologetic patriot and conservative, Greg emerged within the blossoming Tea Party Movement as a political analyst dedicated to educating and advocating for the preservation of our constitutional principles and a free-market solution to problems birthed by economic liberalism. From authoring scathing commentaries to conducting interviews with some of the biggest names in politics today including party leaders, activists and conservative media personalities, Greg has worked to counter the left’s media narratives with truthful discussions of the biggest issues affecting Americans today. Greg’s primary area of focus is Second Amendment issues and the advancement of honest discussion concerning the constitutional right that protects all others. He lives in the Northwest with his wife, Heather, and enjoys writing, marksmanship and the outdoors.
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