This Line by Ted Cruz Has Got to be the Funniest of the Campaign Season Thus Far

If the statement made by constitutional conservative and presidential candidate Ted Cruz today isn’t the funniest one of the presidential campaign thus far, it has to be near the top.

Speaking at the Des Moines Register’s Political Soapbox before a large and energetic crowd at the Iowa State Fair on Friday, Cruz let loose with a stinging, yet light-hearted jab at Democrat frontrunner, the scandal-plagued Hillary Clinton and the number two candidate in for the Dems, admitted socialist Bernie Sanders.

“How many of you all watched the debate in Cleveland?” Cruz asked, beginning to set up his zinger. “What an amazing array of talent was on that stage. How fantastic is it that we have so many young, passionate, dynamic leaders stepping up to lead this party and the United States of America. What a contrast with the Democrats!” Cruz said to laughter and applause.

“I’m pretty sure the first Democratic debate is going to consist of Hillary Clinton and the Chipotle clerk. Well now actually, that’s not fair. We can’t forget about Bernie Sanders. So now the Democratic field consists of a wild-eyed socialist with ideas that are dangerous for America and the world, and…Bernie Sanders.”

BOOM! Hillary has just received a well-aimed “Cruz missile.” The audience broke out in laughter, thinking the “wild-eyed socialist” Cruz was referring to was Bernie Sanders, but he pulled an old switcheroo on them, making the case via humor that Hillary Clinton is every bit as far left as socialist Sanders.

Ted Cruz speaking at the Iowa State Fair, 8/21/15

Cruz didn’t stop there, issuing another shot at Hillary and her latest scandal — Emailgate.

“You know, it really is striking that the Democrats keep delaying their debates. First it was September, then it was October, then it was November — I think they just may move it to 2017,” Cruz joked. “It’s not widely known, but the Democrats actually planned to have an earlier debate. The problem was the debate invitation was emailed to Hillary,” he quipped with a chuckle, making light of her corrupt private email server scandal.

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While Cruz opened his speech with the above humorous lines, it wasn’t all light-hearted at the Iowa Fair.

“We are here today because our country is in crisis,” he said in a very serious tone. “We’re here today because we’re bankrupting our kids and grandkids — because our constitutional rights are under assault from Washington, and because America is receding from leadership in the world. And yet I’m here to bring you a word of hope and encouragement and optimism. All across Iowa, all across this country Americans are waking up and HELP is on the way!” Cruz said lifting his energy level, cadence and tone.

The crowd went wild.

Cruz continued his thrashing of the Obama-Kerry Iran nuclear deal, repeating his contention that when Iran gets its hands on the over $100 billion that the deal gifts them, Obama himself will be the world’s number one financier of radical Islamic terrorism. Cruz pointed out Obama’s displeasure to his accusation, going on to say that if Obama wanted Cruz to change his tune, then Obama should “stop financing radical Islamic terrorism.”

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“If that happens, billions of those dollars will go directly to Hamas, to Hezbollah to the Houthis, to radical Islamic terrorists throughout the world, and those jihadists will use those billions that we control to murder Americans, to murder Israelis, to murder Europeans,” Cruz said. “If President Obama doesn’t like the rhetoric of his administration becoming the world’s leading financier of radical Islamic terrorism, there is an easy solution: Stop financing radical Islamic terrorism.”

Cruz launched another bomb in the direction of Obama’s many unconstitutional royal edicts, letting the audience know that he would reverse all of them.

“Look forward to 2017. If I am elected president — let me tell you what I intend to do on the first day in office. The first thing I intend to do in office: end every single illegal and unconstitutional executive action taken by this president!”

[Loud, boisterous cheers and applause]

“The president says he has a phone and he has a pen. Well, you live by the pen, you die by the pen! And my pen has got an eraser!” 

Cruz went on to say the the corruption in Washington, D.C., isn’t limited to just the White House, but has expanded throughout every branch of government.

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About the Author

Matthew K. Burke
Matthew K. Burke
A former Washington State U.S. Congressional candidate in 2010, Matthew attended the nation’s first modern day Tea Party in 2009 in Seattle, Washington. He also began writing and blogging that year. Matthew became a Certified Financial Planner in 1995 and was a Financial Advisor for 24 years in his previous life. Matthew was one of the three main writers leading a conservative news site to be one of the top 15 conservative news sites in the U.S. in a matter of months. He brings to PolitiStick a vast amount of knowledge about economics as well as a passion and commitment to the vision that our Founding Fathers had for our Republic.

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