Starting Over After a Divorce
Divorce tends to come with a lot of sadness and confusion, especially during the divorce proceedings. Couples are often left feeling disillusioned in the aftermath, too.
Life after a break-up is possible—here are a few tips for starting over after divorce:
Moving Out of Your Marital Home
One of the hardest things people go through after divorce is moving. Relocationcan leave you feeling overwhelmed and rudderless in life. Here’s how you can make the process more manageable:
Find a New Place
The first step to starting over is finding a home that suits your feelings and finances. Create a list of features you want most in a home, then separate these into necessities and extras.
Use this information to search for a home in a neighborhood you like, finding out from the previous renters aboutthe expected utility bills and other features. The information will help you decide whether to maintain the previous service providers or choose a new water, gas, or electric company.
Start the Process Early
Give yourself an eight-week head start to handle the move in an orderly manner.
Choose a Mover
Once you have a moving date, start searching online for a mover that is fully licensed and insured. Select a company with an excellent reputation and affordable packages.
Make Relevant Notifications and Change of Address
Notify your bank, driver’s license, insurance, and other state and federal agencies of your change of address.
The best way to move is to keep it light. Divide your belongings and decide which ones to keep, give to friends, donate, or dump.
Ask for help from the people in your life and the moving company on theday. Help will make the day less stressful and keep your spirits high.
Be Kind to Yourself
The moving day during or after a divorce can feel like insanity, finality, joy, and sorrow, all at once. Be kind to yourself and practice self-care throughout the process.
Self-Care and Mental Health Tips
Divorce often leaves couples confused and unsure of their next move, especially after being together for so long. While everyone’s journey is different, you must start by coping with the emotional aspects of the divorce.
Mourn Your Loss and Then Accept Your New Reality
To move on and thrive, you have to allow yourself to grieve your marriage’s end. Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself time to mourn.
After that, do not feel guilty about any feelings of relief that may arise.
Seek Support from Friends and Family
Distancing yourself from loved ones will only make the process more painful. Their support is necessary during and after your divorce. Choose a support system that will listen without judging you or offering unwelcome advice.
The divorce process can make you neglect your most basic needs. Know that you can only find emotional healing if you are gentle and nurture yourself. Stay away from drugs and alcohol, consume a balanced diet, make exercise a priority, and get plenty of rest.
See a Therapist
If you still can’t accept your new reality, seek help from a professional therapist or counselor. Ending a marriage can exacerbate a lot of issues that threaten your mental health. A professionalwill offer unbiased support and show you how to cope with your feelings.
You will have bills to pay and other financial obligations after going separate ways with your spouse. Make sure that you have enough funds now and during your retirement.
Here are a few considerations to protect yourself and stay on the right track financially:
Cancel Joint Accounts and Open New Personal Accounts
Cancel all joint accounts with your former spouse. These are liabilities and maycome back to haunt you.
Apply for New Credit Cards
Before canceling joint accounts, apply for new credit cards. Itis important if you do not have sufficient assets to cover your rent, buy food, or pay for healthcare. The credit card can provide temporary reliefwhen you need it to settle into your new home.
Create an Independent Financial Plan
Get a financial planner to analyze your financial situation after a divorce. It will help you determine the amount to save for retirement, craft your budget, and guide you toward making the most of your new life.
Create a Budget
If you cannot afford a fully-fledged financial plan, create a budget. List all your income sources, like work, child support, marital support, and investments, and balance these with your expenses.
You will quickly see how much you can save and invest, and how much you can spend on non-essentials.
Divorce doesn’t have to be the beginning of the end. Start over with these moving, self-care, and financial tips for moving on after a divorce.